The Thanksgiving Shouldas

Thanksgiving is over and it is time to get back to the norm. If you are like most people, there is a good chance that you ate more than you normally do. Maybe you even skipped your workout (gasp!). You are now faced with two options:

1. Beat yourself up.

Ruminating over the shoulda, woulda, coulda, envisioning the fat cells in your thighs plumping, focusing on how puffy or fat or {adjective of choice} you feel. Tormenting yourself about how you should have known better, planned better, done better. Blaming your Aunt Sally for bring those damn potatoes she knows you love and pressuring you into having a second helping, when you should have stopped after your first.

OR

2. Leave the past in the past.

Whether it was two days ago or even this morning at breakfast, what is done is done and you can’t change what has already happened. Let go of it. If you feel that you messed up, learn from it. Use your “mistakes” for the opportunity that they are – allow yourself to grow and apply what you have learned from them.

Become a stronger, more educated person because of them. You are now more equipped to plan for next year, or even this year at Christmas. Now, granted, if you have a specific goal date in mind (i.e. your wedding or a fitness competition in January), then of course, do what you’ve got to do to get to where you want to get, and just get back on track starting today.

However, if you can, just relax, and enjoy a bit. Life is meant to be abundant and fun. I have noticed that in the times in my life where I loosened my grip a little on the reigns and given myself a bit of breathing room, those are the times when I have flourished the most. I didn’t experience the bulk of my weight loss until I stopped focusing on my flaws, and started celebrating what I had already achieved.

I have also learned that there is such a thing as the Law of Rhythm in life. This means that the same ebbs and flows that apply to the tides of the seas, apply also to all aspects of life. Sometimes we are on our health and fitness game, never miss a day, eat exactly according to our plan, nothing can break out focus. And other times we are not quite as strict. It is part of life. When you can accept that, and let go a little of that iron fist, knowing that tomorrow is a new day and you can and will get back on track, then life is a lot more enjoyable.

I used to be “that girl” that tries to have ultimate control because I thought that was the key to my happiness. I used to be REALLY hard on myself. Any slip-up, any piece of stray Christmas candy, and of course the celebrating on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the 10 other parties we all have during this holiday season. I was the biggest advocate of throwing away the gifted candy or cookies, or giving them to someone else. I would focus so much energy on how I really screwed up, and I’ve got to get back to my normal food and normal routine and beat, beat, beat my “mess up” into my head. I would almost obsess about how I shouldn’t have eat that, and tomorrow I have to work out ten times harder to make up for it. I would work myself up so much that I would get that icky feeling in my chest because I was feeling like I did something so wrong.

What the hell kind of life is that to live?? Who am I fooling? Is 1000, 2000, even 3000 extra calories over my maintenance level, spread out over the span of a week or two REALLY…in the grand scheme of things, going to put me THAT far behind? Frankly, at that time, when I was feeling this way, I had been dieting hardcore for close to a year. A break/surplus in actuality was probably the best thing for me!

But I refused to look at it like that. I refused to see the positive. I focuses my thoughts on feeling “fat”. And did the scale go up? Of course it did. But you know what, it went back down again.

In fact, around the holidays, the scale still goes up a bit for me, even today. But the big difference is, now I know that any gain is short-term, and it WILL come back off again. The fact is, it’s 99.9% water retention, and even if I did gain some small percentage of fat, I know that I am fully capable of buckling down for a week and getting right back to my ideal range. I realize that as with the ebbs and flows, sometimes its easier to get out there and be active and go, go, go, getting in lots of activity, or eating tons of fruits and veggies and protein, and other times, its more important to still be conscious of those things, and make good choices everywhere I can, but also to relax a little and enjoy the moment, the company, the season, and life in general.

So as we proceed along this holiday season, rather than beating yourself up, feeling guilty for the three Christmas cookies you ate because your co-worker passes them out each year as gifts, or that extra helping of bread pudding (my personal favorite) that Grandma makes for the holidays, keep the big picture in mind.

If you choose to indulge, appreciate it for what it is. Be grateful for this time of year, and all that it encompasses, spending it with friends and family. Connect with one another. Laugh a lot. Give yourself a break. Now, I am not saying this is your excuse to go buck-wild because, “Sheila told me to pole vault off the wagon.” I am simply saying that sometimes it is important, to loosen our grip a little, and coast along with the current, living consciously in the moment, laughing, loving, making mistakes, learning, and so on. As we have talked about before, life is a journey. Enjoy the ride.